Friday, March 7, 2008

THIS WEEK IN LAME NEWS - Platinum Dunces

Oh-me-oh-my! Terrible remake news. Lame...

I read on The Film Experience Blog, that they noticed on some website called Popbytes, that they read on a website called Shock Till You Drop that producer Michael Bay and his boys over at Platinum Dune, are in talks to remake, one of my, top ten, maybe top five favorite flicks of all time...

Roman Polanski’s brilliant Rosemary’s Baby (1968).

These are the same “filmmakers” who did that lameass Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake in 2003 (as well as the ‘prequel’  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006). And last years unwatchable The Hitcher remake. Okay, admittently their Amityville Horror remake, though completely lame, mighta been a tad better then the ultra-lame original (it’s too bad both sucked, because the book is pretty good). But these guys have shown they are just out for a fast buck and quality or art or originality is not in their mindset.

- I can understand remaking a bad flick and attempting to improve on it (so go remake I Know Who Killed Me or some shit like that).

- I can even understand why they are remaking Friday the 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street, because those film have already cannibalized themselves with dozens of awful remakes, and they aren't very good anyways.  

- I can even accept their planned remake of Hitchcock's great flick The Birds. Iit has been remade before(TV version) and they apparently have a well cast Naomi Watts in it (this after The Ring and King Kong and the upcoming Funny Games and not to mention Children Of The Corn 4).

But Rosemary’s Baby is truly a perfect film. It’s almost scene for scene the exact same as it’s source novel by Ira Levin. It's script and look and editing and acting are textbook examples of how to create suspense.

Can you imagine what these lamewads will do with it? 

I bet that right now Jessica Alba or maybe, one of The Gossip Girls or whomever will be playing the title role... I bet she's busy meeting with her little acting coach and team, she's putting a pillow in her shirt to learn how to walk like a pregnant woman and all that.

Oh and I guess they also have a Near Dark remake in the works. 

These dudes are shameless.

Silver Lining: Maybe this will help get the TV-movie sequel Look What’s Happened to Rosemary’s Baby finally released on DVD.


1 comment:

Jeff Miller, Rocket Manager said...

I'll only go see it if they cast Bea Arthur in the Ruth Gordon role...and Rip Taylor as her hubbie.