Friday, February 22, 2008

That's Enough, Michael Bay

This is just about the funniest thing I've seen all week...

At least he's in on the joke I guess...

Seriously though, I really don't dislike the guy. There are a few of his flicks I really dig. Like The Rock (Nic Cage, Sean Connery, witty one liners, and explosions. what's not to like?) and The Island (basically THX 1138, but you know, watchable. and I heard the French really liked it. and we're supposed to like what they like, right?). I also really enjoyed the last 20 minutes or so of Transformers (a giant robot fight in Downtown Los Angeles. Again, what's not to like? It was the movie Mr. Bay was born to make!)

What's the deal with him and Criterion though? There are a staggering number of his movies with Criterion editions (and by "staggering" I do mean more than zero). Seriously, I know I just got finished saying the guy's not all bad, but Criterion quality? REALLY? Surely there was some sort of Faustian deal involved?

I get asked a lot at Rocket, "what does Criterion mean?" and my response is usually something along the lines of, "It's a company that puts out special editions of important films. Oh, and Armageddon too." ugh...



Sweeneyrules said...

What's not to like?
Are you on the dope?
You defend The Rock and The Island and worst of all that offensive Transformers?
You love Michael Bay, admit it.
I think he is everything thing that sucks about flicks these days.

You need to see THX1138 in a theater if you find it unwatchable but find some goon in a wig entertaining.
Something tells me the only Criterion films you've even seen are the Bay ones.
Bet you can't wait for He Man & The Masters of The Universe The Movie.

But hey what do I know? THE PEOPLE seem to dig his 'art' (same ahole Americans who elected Bush - TWICE)

Oh and the French have just as lame taste as we do, cept they have better mainstream nudity

Wait tell I tell MD about this!

bp said...

hey, Bay's films may not be on the same high cinematic plain as, oh, say "Potheads: The Movie" but come on... (btw, what did MD have to say about that one?)

and the He-Man movie was the shit. Dolph Lungren rulezzz!

"your besht? looshers whine about their besht. winnersh go home and fuck the prom queen."
-Sean Connery, The Rock.

bp said...

and if your Obama-topia means a simple man can't fulfill his simple dream of making a film about giant robots disguised as late model automobiles wreaking havoc and mayhem on the streets of a major metropolitan area, well then i want no part of it!!

sweeneyrules said...

Yo Holmes
Not that I wanna defend something as crappy as Potheads The Movie, but it cost about **** less then Transformers and was only about 20% more inept, considering the costs... you and your boygriend M Bay just got served!

**** : the overall indulgent overblown budget of Transformers minus about $500.

Oh yeah, well when Obama gets in I hope to be working for his Ministry of Propaganda and we will force suck ass film makers to pay for healthcare and shit instead of that junk they make---
What the...?
What am I...?
I'm cool and shit.
What am I doing sitting home in Hollywood at 11:30 on a Friday night, engaging in this online nonsense?
Man, you win. I give. You showed me.
I gotta change.
I should be out banging cute girls or networking or something. 'Stead I'm watching Charlie Rose, making lists of crazy Vietnam vet flicks and thinking of more retard movies to blog about and... writing snide comments to you.
(earlier I was also commenting on other movie blogs about their stupid movie lists)

Yuck, I gotta find some friends or something.
I'm now one of those computer blogging losers I use to make fun of.